Fighter

For the past 3 years I have been blessed by God that the Rheumatoid Arthritis has been in a remission state. During the past few years of remission I was able to maintain symptoms and pain of the RA with herbal supplements and an all organic diet. The remission stirred hope inside my spirit. I felt that maybe my life wouldn't just be filled with bad days. I started to dream of my future and all the things I wanted to accomplish and I gained confidence that I would see those dreams come to past. I was finally able to smile and laugh. I never once took a day in remission for granted because in the back of my mind I knew that someday it would end.

In July of 08 both of my hands started showing signs of carpel tunnel and before you know it I was lying on a operating table having hand surgery. The first surgery in July 08 and the second in Feb 09. Unlike others who bounce back from carpel tunnel surgery within a few weeks, the surgeries left me unable to move without severe pain. I found myself on a good day walking with a cane. The immune response of the RA had started again and I knew that the remission was coming to an end. It was three months before I regained full use of each hand after surgery. But I can finally feel all ten fingers again. What a blessing.

Since the hand surgeries my body has not been the same. To confirm my suspicions last week I had an appointment with my Rheumatologist. And I am now facing the reality that the Rheumatoid Arthritis is no longer in remission. Now in full active disease, the pain is worsening by the day and fatigue has set in. Frustration is now a big part of my day as I am loosing the ability to do normal everyday tasks. And I would be lying if I said that it hasn't taken a toll on my spirit and the hope I had once found.

The doctors have determined that the best course of treatment for me at this point is to start back on a biologic infusion drug called Remicade. It is administered through IV infusion over a 3 hour period. The drug is harsh and has lots of scary side effect much like a chemo therapy. But this is where I'm at and the treatment is necessary to stop the constant inflammation, pain and the possible destruction of my joints.

So now its time to fight. Its time to find an inner strength that only God himself can give. The boxing gloves are on and the bell has sounded. With God going before me and with my family and friends at my side I will fight. I will fight and when I can no longer fight, God and those by my side will uphold me, protect me like a shield and throw a few punches on my behalf...... "DING" round one has begun.

Today's song is Fighter by The Red Airplanes. This song has become like an anthem to me over the past few months.

"There's a fighter in me, there's a fighter in me.

No worries or problems holding on to me, there's a fighter in me.

There's a fighter in you, there's a fighter in you.

Look to your inside you'll know what to do, there's a fighter in you.

There's a fighter in me, there's a fighter in me.

No worries or problems holding on to me

Sickness, disease, darkness, strong holds must flee

I've thrown out my limits you better believe.

There's a fighter in me

There's a fighter in ME."