Take Me Away

Today I had a follow up visit with the doc. As I suspected, the Plaquenil did not work and for now I have stopped taking it. My joints are constantly hurting, swollen, and flaring. Recently I have been struggling with the increasing pain in my hands, arms, and right hip. And of course the bulging disks in my back don't make my situation any easier. Due to the lack of medications and treatments left for me to try Dr. Johnson has put me back on Methotrexate a chemo therapy drug. I took this drug for 3 and a half years after I was first diagnosed. So the plan is to revisit this treatment for awhile, steadily increase doses as needed, and hold my breath and say a prayer that it will begin to work. The MTX is a subcutaneous injection that I will give myself once a week. I have not taken this drug as an adult nor have I taken the amount prescribed before; so the side effects will be a mystery until they appear. I will have to get routine liver function test because it is a chemo therapy drug and is hepatoxic and can damage my liver. I will also have to take a folic acid supplement because MTX causes folic acid deficiency anemia. So I have to swallow a couple of extra pills each day. I already take so many pills, at this point what's a few more!

Today's song is Take Me Away by John Legend. John Legend is one of my favorite artist. I love his style of music and the way he incorporates the piano into modern day R&B. Take Me Away is a song about a girl who is seemingly unhappy with the current situations in her life. She asks a newly acquainted man to take her away so that she may vacate her life and leave her troubles behind. Man do I wish I could do the exact same thing right now. I told my Mom last night that I just wanted to have a "normal" body for a little bit to escape the pain, fatigue, and medications. I wish I could leave the RA behind and not have to think about it for a while. In my dreams I imagine dancing the tango under the stars in Argentina, exploring the streets of Barcelona Spain, floating down the streets of Venice Italy, and enjoying a late afternoon picnic and a glass of wine near the Eiffel Tower in Paris. If I could escape that's where I would go. Imagining these things is far more appealing than focusing on my RA. Maybe one day I'll actually make it to Argentina, Spain, Italy, and France. Then all I would need is a man to come and whisk me away! But for now, a girl has got to dream :)

"We danced and sang somewhere in between heaven and hell,

Gabrielle, that was her name.

Everyone was smiling even through their tears under a spell

But in Gabrielle's eyes nothing.

I asked, 'Do you not like the music?'

She said, 'it's alright.'

But she dances to her own sad tune. She says..

'Take me away from here

Take me somewhere, where love is like breathing

I don't care where we go

As long as I'm there with you baby.'

I could tell she's been through pain I could only dream

Nightmares that live where you live

Tears well in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall.

I'd give the world to know where her smile is.

I asked, 'Will you dance with me now.

Let me try to figure out the fastest route out of town?' She says...

'Take me away from here.

Take me somewhere, where love is like breathing.

I don't care where we go

As long as I'm there with you baby.'

'I got a full tank of gas girl.

Any where you want to go girl.

All you have to do is ask girl.'

And she says...

'Take me away from here.

Take me somewhere, where love is like breathing.

I don't care where we go

As long as I'm there with you baby."